I was supposed to post this yesterday. I don’t like saying goodbye to things that matter to me.
It’s never been easy, I struggled for many years with the concept of change and it’s implications, and what does that do to me as I grow towards the path that I am meant to be.I’m a student, about to be a college graduate, and I struggle with the idea that I want to pursue is far from easy. I have too many vices that infiltrate my options, and it’s like going through a ladder where many of the steps are not there. In our society, women of color have been degraded as the lowest of the low, where we would be categorized by our voluptuous parts and our skin has been degraded to be ‘exotic’ you have been recognized as a strong woman of color, holding such a profession that does not invite us to be part of. It’s hard, coming from a third world country made me realize that the best influences for us to think differently come from simply sit down, watch a screen and visually interpret those images as the things to be, and that people my skin color are never part of.
This blog, and my words have been, in many a form of sanctuary where I can freely express my ideas and concepts about something that not most people that I have around me understand, just see it as something that it’s simple where in reality, it is very complex and very exclusive to a certain group of people that indeed, don’t look like me at all. Writing these posts, made me let out a part of me that was overflowing with ideas and research that without me noticing had build up. Ms. DuVernay, although you are in your beginning steps of becoming one of the most influential black female directors and I, now that I am about to graduate college and start building my way up there, I can’t deny that I am scared. That I know that the path that I am about to take is a scary lonely road where I don’t really know what to do, I know that I can look back at this blog, at my words, and find words or encourage when I feel the lowest of the low. It makes me feel happy that I see a woman that looks like me doing something that I am passionate about.
I remember clearly the night that I had to move to the United States all by myself and leave my family behind was like saying goodbye to someone who I didn’t want to let go. Now that I am at the end of this journey with this blog, I have to let go something that I really don’t want to say goodbye so soon of. Although, this might be the end of writing for this blog, really this is the beginning of a new journey where I hope that I can need dedicated people who see this need for all women of color to come together and become one, and build our own companies where we support all areas of study to make it more accessible to become our truest self and pursue leadership roles where we, as women of color today we can’t easily access. You allow the possibility for this to happen, and I hope I can do the same.
Thank you for being just you and when I meet you, expect a big bear hug.
-Yuleisy Michel Audain